


Return to Life

by Nadare



Category: Cowboy Bebop
Genre: Alternate Ending, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Complete, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-18
Updated: 2015-08-18
Packaged: 2018-04-15 11:25:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4604928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nadare/pseuds/Nadare
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Major spoilers for the anime! An alternative ending.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An epic start...maybe.

[Written on October 8th of 2001]  
[Last edited…]  
\--------------------------------------  
**_"Return to Life"_**  
Chapter One: The Beginning  
  
Vicious had fallen. The past was finally over. The end.  
  
I held back the whimpers of pain as I crept down the carpeted steps. It seemed blood was everywhere. I was covered in it. My legs threatened to buckle under me at any moment. In fact, they were trembling. I had lost too much blood. The precious crimson river was about to run dry.  
  
The world spun out of control, and for a brief moment, I could see the stunned faces of all the syndicate men around me. I smiled bitterly, raising my hand slowly. The last shot. Only one more word on my bloodied lips.  
  
“Bang,” I whispered softly. And then I fell into darkness. Fallen angel. Yeah, that's me.  


  
Faye Valentine held back the tears that threatened to consume her. She'd only come back because this was the only place she could. The few people she knew wouldn't betray her. They'd taken her in. More or less because she made them, but they hadn't complained. Too much…  
  
“Shit!” Faye yelled out, gun falling from her hand. What had happened to the Bebop crew? The playful, sometimes, insane smile on Ed's face as her fingers/toes pounded against the keyboard. Ein’s endless barking that never failed to get a shout from one member of the Bebop. Spike’s sadistic wit as he loaded another clip in his gun, pausing one moment to smile mysteriously before plunging himself into chaos again. Jet’s loud humming as he cooked yet another crappy meal for the strange band of people he called his crew. What had happened to the bitchy side of Faye?  
  
Was it all just a dream? A pitiful illusion of a life that should have been consumed months ago but hadn't. Until this moment. Spike had embraced his past with open arms, and now he was never coming back. The easygoing life on the tattered ship called the Bebop was dead. Would it ever rise again?  


 

Jet Black stared out into dry landscape of Tharsis blankly.  
  
“Damn you, Spike. Why did you have to confront your past? Couldn't it just have stayed dead where it belonged? What's past is past. I doubt that even passed through your mind as you walked out. On me and Faye. The last two remaining members of the Bebop crew. If such a crew existed in the first place. You could've been the third, Spike.  
  
“We could have continued bounty-hunting. Just the three of us. Maybe we’d even be able to pay off Faye's huge debt eventually, but you killed it all. Willingly. Even as I stand here, I know your heart no longer beats. Perhaps It’s all for the best. Or maybe it’s all for the worst. It doesn't matter. Wherever the future leads us, I will save a place for you.”  


 

Birds. Why are birds singing in hell? Or is it heaven? My eyes open up to find out, but instead I only see darkness. Endless darkness all around me.  
  
I’m hungry. I agree with you, stomach. So shut up, already. Wait…can you be hungry in heaven? Or am I in hell, where you're hungry all the time, and can find no cure?  
  
Words enter my ears, but I can’t make them out. Slower. Talk slower and maybe I’ll understand you. The whisper continues, slower this time. I can make out only a few words.  
  
“…Spiegel …alive.”  


  
Sunlight creeps through the drapes of the hospital, and I turn away from them. That's all I need, more sunlight in my life. It should have ended. Why didn't it? Julia was dead. Vicious was dead. I had killed him with my own hands. So why was I still alive?  
  
My hands curl into fists, and I punch the thing nearest me. Poor lamp never had a chance. The bulb crumples into dust, and I lay back against the pillow, empty. Again. The rage comes and goes. I’ve grown used to it. So has Alice.  
  
Speak of the devil, here she comes to change my bandages. I can’t remember how many times she's done that. Time has no meaning for me anymore. It’s like freezing one moment, and living it over and over again. I don’t know about you, but I’m getting tired of the frame.  
  
“Where am I getting out of here?” I ask, voice carefully dull as I feel her hands prod the wounds. Short blond hair lifts, and wide blue eyes look at me in exasperation. I’d be sick of the question too if someone asked me it everyday.  
  
“If I had my way, never. But the doctors say three days. Mr. Spiegel, are you sure you want to leave so quickly? True, your wounds are almost healed, but you seem…how do I put this? Deflated. I-“  
  
I raise my hand to silence her. “Tell me something, Alice. If you had caused the death of your girlfriend, and killed your best friend with your own hands, would you be jumping up and down for joy?” She wasn't expecting that. I can see it in her silence. She finishes with the new bandages, and leaves, but her footsteps pause as she nears the doorway.  
  
“Spike,” she whispers, her voice soft. “Go back home. Wherever that is. Try not to get into too much trouble along the way. You hear me, space cowboy? Go back home.”  
  
That was the last time I saw Alice. I know where I have to go now, but I’m afraid to. I cast Jet and Faye away so quickly, believing I was never going to see them again. I wonder what their reaction will be when I return. Happiness or perhaps anger. Whatever the answer, I have to find out.  
  
To be Continued...


	2. Retribution

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spike returns home.

[Written on November 1st of 2001]  
[Last edited 8/18/15]  
\-------------------------------------  
"Return to Life”  
_**Chapter Two: Retribution**_  
  
Turns outs if you have money, you can get any information you want. Even the location of a certain tattered ship called the Bebop.  
  
I spent the last of my money renting a ship I was never going to return. The kid behind the counter knew this, and yet he still gave it to me. Mainly because I had paid enough woolongs to buy it and more. I had yet to locate my starship, Swordfish II, it had probably be stolen by some guy with a bounty over his head. I’d catch up to him later. Right now, I had some comrades to return to.  
  
Ed sat in front of the computer, motionless to everything but the electronic world that surrounded her. Her fingers twitched subconsciously as she drove deeper into top-secret documents, toes tapping away at the keyboard in front of her.  
  
“Ed knows all and sees all. So give Ed anything you can on Norah McNamara!” She exclaimed as the confidential police files suddenly became hers. Ah, the life of a hacker was great. Especially if you were as good as Ed.  
  
A beeping sound interrupted her search, and she pulled off her goggles, eyes flicking towards the communicator on the table. Where was those adult persons when you needed them? Sighing, Ed bounced over. Static frizzed as a face came into focus. An oddly familiar face.  
  
“Spike-Spike!” Ed screamed, shoving the communicator closer to her. “Spike person dead! Ed knows this!” Scratching her head, Ed smiled. “Oh, well! Whatchca need, Spike person?”  


  
Ed hadn't changed. In fact, she sounded crazier than ever. Must be Faye's doing. The woman had a talent for driving anyone nuts. It’s a wonder Jet remained sane during the time she stayed with us. Using our shower, complaining when the water was cold. Women. You can never please them.  
  
The gate opened, and I eased the small ship into it. It all seemed like a dream. By all means, I should have been dead. But here I was, alive and kicking. Stepping out, I sighed happily as I spotted the familiar scratches and bruises the ship had taken during our adventures. If the walls of this ship could talk, they'd be screaming.  
  
Tossing the jacket over my shoulder, I pause, briefly considering to turn back and start a new life. Ah, hell. Why start a new one when you can revive your old one? I slip in silently, not wanting to startle anyone. Finally, I enter the living room.  
  
I can see Ed tapping away at her computer, grinning as more files became hers. It’s a wonder she came back. Where had she gone? I’d find out someday, but not today. Today was reserved for Jet and Faye. If they were still around.  
  
“Ed, where is everybody?"  
  
The girl went rigid, goggled eyes turning towards me. “Bounty-hunting. Big reward if they catch,” she said, flipping back to her hacking. Drained of information, I guess.  
  
“Well, shit,” I mutter, laying back against the couch-  
  
Correction: laying back against the couch, and using Ein as a pillow. The dog was back. Seems the whole crew had drifted back together. I hoped I wasn't going to ruin anything.  
  
“I come all this way just to see an insane hacker, and a smelly dog?!” I exclaim briefly before cracking a smile and chuckling. The irony of it all astounded me. Who was the ghost now?  
  
Voices entered the air, and I tried to think myself invisible. Things never work the way you want them to. A loud gasp echoes through the air, and suddenly warm arms are around me. Squeezing. Cutting off my air supply.  
  
Finally, the jaws of death release me, and Faye's face appears above mine. Her smile is genuine, eyes gleaming with unshed tears as she stares into my own mismatched set. She is like an actress, tossing one face out for another. The role she plays for me next? Furious.  
  
The sound of striking flesh roars through the air, and I wonder why I haven't felt the pain- that woman is stronger than she looks! I glare at her as my cheek throbs, wondering what in the world has come over her. My question is answered as she looks over her shoulder. The rage convulsing on her face says it all.  
  
"You bastard!" I sit up, watching as her fists clench dangerously. I should have been expecting this. After all, I said some things I should not have. But then, I was expecting to never come back. Free advice: if you're never coming back, pretend you will return anyway. Never say good-bye. It's a bitch otherwise.  
  
I dodge, avoiding a fist that would have surely connected with my jaw. I've been beaten enough already in my life. Faye becomes even more enraged, steam practically rising off her. Maybe I shouldn't dodge. I probably deserve to be hit. Yeah, I should just sit here, and let her fists do the talking. But I won't, I'm just not that type of guy.  
  
I grab her shoulders, forcing her down to her knees. She struggles, still trying to come to terms with reality. I suppose three months could change a person. Especially if that person was dealing with the death of a comrade. She'd accepted it, and now here I was, rocking her world out of balance once again. I shouldn't have come back.  
  
Memories stir, and I suddenly remembered walking away from Faye, ignoring her silent sobs. All because I had to bury my past.  
  
"Faye...are you willing to listen to a story?" She just stares at me, eyebrow twitching every few minutes.  
  
"Good. Once, there was a tiger-striped cat who slept all the time. He dreamt of many adventures, and many different people. But mostly about another cat, a silky white one who he could never find in reality. Then, one day, she crossed his path. And died the very next day. The tiger-striped cat was heartbroken, and decided to end it all. He died, and then rose again. He was immortal, and he cursed this find many times before deciding to sleep forever. And he did."  
  
Faye narrows her eyes, nose crunching up in confusion. "Was that supposed to make sense?" she replies, smirk curling around the edge of her lips slowly.  
  
"I understood it just fine," a guff voice says quietly. I look up to see Jet leaning against the doorway, arms crossed casually. Not at all surprised by my sudden appearance. But that was Jet, steady as a rock.  
  
"You did, did you?" I ask, close to smiling myself. "Oh, yes. It's a common story around this place." I stand, dropping my jacket on the ground near Faye, and walk up to the former ISSP officer.  
  
"Damn, and I was going for original." Jet breaks first, full-throated laughter dripping from his lips. I join in a moment later, grinning widely as I struggle to balance a cigarette on my lips. Faye fails to see what is so funny, and I don't blame her. It is a dumb joke. But aren't all the smart-alecky ones overused?  
  
I freeze as arms are suddenly around me. No, I take that back: one arm, and a cybotic replacement. Jet may look tough on the outside, but he still has feelings. However, steady he can appear, he too,trips on the path of life.  
  
"Goddamn, it's good to see you," he whispers, voice hardly audible. I knew he couldn't stay mad at me. No one can. Unless, of course, you're an enemy of mine.  
  
"You too, pal," I reply, breaking the embrace as I feel a hand pull on me.  
  
Ed grins widely at me, emerald eyes sparkling with innocence. Oh, right. Like I'm going to fall for that. "Ed wants a hug too! Give Ed hug! NOW!"  
  
See? What'd I tell you? Kids aren't innocent. Not by a long shot. "All right, all right...jeez.." Ed jumps in my arms, squeezing my throat before jumping down, and scurrying to her computer once more. I cough madly, eyeing the little imp suspiciously. She hadn't meant to choke me, right?  
  
To be continued...


	3. Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The past is never dead.

[Written on November 11th of 2001]  
[Last edited on 8/18/15]  
\----------------------  
**_“Return to Life”_**  
Chapter Three: Confessions  
  
I dig a cigarette out of my pocket, fairly sure it’s useable. Now, where was that damn- a flame hovers inches from my face. I lean forward, lighting the tip. "Spike…” Faye calls softly. I look over at her, raising a brow as I wonder what she wants. “Yeah?”  
  
Jet now sits opposite of Faye, head back, and eyes closed. I wonder whether or not he lost any sleep after I left. Would he even allow himself to cry?  
  
“What happened?” A simple question deserves a simple answer. But in this case, it was different. “Why do you want to know?” I inquire nonchalantly, taking a seat next to her.  
  
Faye's eyes narrow in annoyance or anger. Frankly, I didn't give a damn anymore. Faye loves being the drama queen. I suppose it’s a part of the mask she wears every day. “Don’t you think your comrades deserve to know?”  
  
I pause, briefly considering whether or not to answer, but my conscience gets the better of me. “Which version do you want? The cliff-notes version or the novel?”  
  
Faye smiles, a rarity in itself since she's walked through the door.  
  
“The cliff-notes version. We still have a bounty to catch,” Jet answers quietly.  
  
I stare at him, wanting to ask many questions yet fearing the answers.  
  
“Good, I’m not the novel type anyway. I had finally woken up. Julia's death confirmed this. When she took her last breath, the dream ended. I decided to end it all, my past, my future. Who the hell cared anymore? I went to syndicate headquarters, kicked ass and killed Vicious. I thought that would be the end. But it wasn't. I passed out at the feet of the remaining syndicate members, fairly certain they'd kill me.  
  
“They didn't. Since both the elders and Vicious had been destroyed, there was no one left to order them around. The details are kind of blurry, but I remember someone taking me to the hospital. I recovered slowly but surely. Then one day, I received a letter. It was from Julia's attorney, claiming shed left something to me. After getting out of the hospital, I inquired about it. Turns out the woman had money stashed away. Lots of it. By the way…”  
  
I throw an envelope into Faye's lap, startling her. She picks it up carefully as if there was a bomb inside. “That's for you.”  
  
“When I had finally delayed long enough, I decided to come here. After all, I really have nowhere else to go. Home comes in the form of a tattered ship, a smart-ass old guy, a gambling addicted woman, a crazy hacker and a smelly dog-“  
  
Faye's eyes widen, disbelief written all over her face as she counts the woolongs in her hand. I smile, leaning back against the couch, and continue my tale.  
  
“The world is a crazy place, and I’m one of the mental patients.”  
  
Jet leans forward, trying to get a peek at the money in Faye's hands. “What was the last thing I said?” I ask quietly, eyeing my two hypnotized comrades.  
  
“World is crazy, crazy, crazy! We all mental mental mental patients!!” Ed yells, running around like the insane girl she is. Ein jumps at her feet, barking all the while. Good thing to know they've been listening. Sometimes I feel so unappreciated.  
  
“S-Spike, this is…”  
  
“Five hundred million woolongs, more than enough to pay off Faye's debt. Not to mention, getting some real food here on the Bebop.”  
  
Jet laughs, grabbing the extra woolongs off of Faye's lap before she can get her grubby paws on it.  
  
“Spike, I gotta say. It is good to have you back though it’s probably just the money talking.”  
  
I shrug, lying back on the couch casually. “It helps. Now, if you don’t mind, I’d like to take a nap.” Laughter. “Whatever you want, pal.”

  
  
_I hate dreams. I can’t understand why we push things into the back of our minds, only to be haunted by them later in our dreams. Where we are helpless to do anything but watch. Tell me that makes sense. I try to escape them, but I have never succeeded. The ghost that decided to visit me now? The Angelic Devil, Julia._  
  
_I’m there again, running across the rooftop, offering death to anyone who dare show their face. I didn't start this fight, they did. Now I’m going to end it. For good._  
  
_Julia suddenly disappears, ducking just in time to avoid the bullets as they bite dust near her. I see the sniper out of the corner of my eye, but am helpless to do anything but try and reach her in time. Dear God, please don’t do this. Not Julia. Anyone else but Julia. He doesn't give a damn._  
  
_I take down the gunman too late. Julia is already wounded. I run towards her. It seems as if years pass while she falls to the ground slowly. A moment later, I’m there, holding her in my arms. She stares at me, hand struggling to caress my cheek. "This,” she whispers softly. “This is all a dream.”_  
  
_Suddenly, I can’t feel anything. Not one damn emotion. I feel cold inside. “Yeah, a bad dream...,” I mutter softly, already seeing her eyes start to close. I want to cry, but I can’t. I want to hug her close, but I can’t move my arms. I want to do so many things. I can see the light fade from her eyes, and seconds later, she is dead. Was she ever really alive at all? The death of an angel._  
  
_The dream goes on, and suddenly Julia opens her eyes, brow narrowed in rage. Her bloody hands grab my throat, and squeeze. Not only can I not feel nothing, I can’t breathe. “Julia…” I try to say, but those demonic hands squeeze tighter and tighter._  
  
“Julia!” I shout, eyes blind to see the Bebop's comforting living room around me. The past, my eye's still focused on the past. I have to let it go.  
  
Kicking my jacket off, I sulk to my quarters, avoiding any of the crew. I could still see Julia, laying there dead, killing all my hopes and dreams of a normal life with her. If only she'd run instead of staying with me. Julia, leave me alone.  
  
I decide to let off some steam by working out, toughen out all the muscles that had gotten lax in the hospital. I close my eyes, arms and legs already in position. Then I'm no longer there, instead I am everywhere at once. No longer am I trapped in flesh, but spirit. I'm watching myself do moves so familiar yet alien.  
  
Suddenly, I can see Vicious's cold eyes, glaring at me as he falls to the ground. A smile creeps over his lips and he dies.  
Julia. Falling yet again, blood soaking through her clothes. She dies. Everything dies when I'm around.  
Roco. My only student. Just as he masters my technique, a bullet steals his life.  
Lin, Shin. The list goes on and on, breaking my already weak conscience. If I hadn't been born, then none of them would have died.  
  
I'm back in my own body, doing my routine harder than usual. Panting, I stop, too tried to continue anymore.  
  
"Dammit!" I yell through clenched teeth, heading towards the shower, which I don't expect to be warm, to distract from my persistent conscience. If I was able to kill things that didn't have form, my conscience would be the first to go.  
  
To Be Continued...


	4. Rain on the Parade

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A memory of Vicious and Spike.

[Written on December 20th of 2001]  
[Last Edited on 8/18/15]  
\-----------------------------------------  
**_"Return to Life"_**  
Chapter Four- Rain on the Parade  
  
I should be happy, shouldn't I? After all, I survived the death of Julia, and the showdown with Vicious. In fact, I should be ecstatic. But I don't feel any of these things. Guilt is weighing on my conscience like a ton of bricks. All those deaths...  
  
"Spike, is something wrong?"  
  
I open my eyes, and find myself looking into Jet's worried ones. A few moments pass before I speak. I never know the right words to say. "If the spirits of the dead were haunting you, how would you get rid of them?"  
  
Jet's eyes grow wide, and he stares at me for a full minute. "Figuratively, you mean?" I offer no reply, only await his answer. "Make peace with them."  
  
Easier said than done, friend. I close my eyes once again, allowing sleep to close in once more. Someone's shaking me. Hard, I might add. I lay in a coma of half-consciousness, my mind split in half. One is aware of reality, and ponders whether or not to answer the call. The other half is in the middle of a dream, one where Julia is alive, and Vicious is my partner once more. Guess which one I choose?  
  
The hands leave me, and I slip into oblivion once again.  
  
  
_"A girl, huh?" Vicious says,, face set in a confused expression._  
  
_I glance over at him, halfcocked smile on my face. "Not just any girl, Vicious. An angel...," I say, remembering her warm embrace, just like a pair of angel's wings._  
  
_He stares at me, lone raised brow raised in curiosity. "Sounds like you've got a disease," he comments dryly, draining the last of his drink in one gulp. "A bad one at that."_  
  
_I stare into the glass of bourbon, fully aware that I'm close to drunk. Vicious calls out to the bartender for another shot. My face grows serious, dangerous thoughts run in circles in my mind. "You know, I'd give it all up for her. I would drop out of the Mafia, throw all material things away, and go to the ends of the earth just for her. Hell, I'd even give up you..."_  
  
_Vicious's eyes grow wide, and he stares at me alarmed. Then he smiles, distress slipping away. "You've gonna be drunk to be thinking that way," he says nonchalantly._  
  
_"I'm not drunk...," I say loudly, defending myself then more quietly add, "yet."_  
  
_Vicious laughs, always a delicious thing to hear. I am enjoying my protégé’s company even if it is a dream. "What's her name?" he asks quietly, casting eyes downward. "Julia."_  
  
_"Julia...a very common name."_  
  
_"Yeah."_  
  
_"Do you love her?"_  
  
_"Yeah."_  
  
_"How much?"_  
  
_"You heard how much, Vis."_  
  
_"You're not really thinking of leaving the Mafia, are you? You know it's impossible, right? Besides, you're second-in-command. When the elders transfer leadership, you’re going to be their first choice," he tells me fast as if he himself hates to admit it. Reliving this particular moment, I realize this is the first sign that Vicious had his own hidden agenda. Or the beginnings of one._  
  
_"Have you ever felt incomplete your own life then suddenly you meet someone who fits that emptiness perfectly?" Vicious nods, choosing to remain silent yet I can tell he's holding something back. I've always had a sneaking suspicion that Vicious was my partner in more ways than one. But we've never actually explored that option except for the times when we were too drunk to remember what the hell happened the night before._  
  
_"Julia fills that hole, Vicious. If she asked me to jump off a cliff, I would. Without a thought of hesitation."_  
  
_"You'd give up this life so quickly?" he asks, forgetting his drink altogether and turning to me. I almost roll my eyes, but I feel he needs a reasonable answer._  
  
_"What's so great about this life? I am at the beck and call of the elders. I am the police officer, the judge, and the executioner all in one. I don't like having my life controlled."_  
  
_"Spike, who's controlling your life right now? You are. But in the Mafia, you're allowing yourself to be controlled, when you could just-"_  
  
_"Escape," I add, a sudden wave of determination coming over me. If I wanted this to really work, I'd have to accept a mission that would either free me or kill me. I was betting on the latter._  
  
__"_ Dammit, Spike! Do you have a death wish? Do you realize what will happ-"_  
  
_"I'm aware," I interrupt quietly, a plan slowly forming. Vicious stands, anger burning in his eyes. "I've heard enough. If you're actually going to go through with this, I don't want any part of it."_  
  
_I grab his arm, stopping him from walking out the door. "I can't do it without your help." He glares at me, a little bit of the future Vicious peeking out._  
  
_"Then don't!" he remarks bitterly, storming out. I stare after him, disappointed. Dammit, if I wanted to do this, I'd have to go it alone._  
  
Alone? I didn't do it alone. I had Vicious's help after all. Except he had planned his own agenda. He had contacted Julia, and threatened to kill us both if she didn't do away with me. But she cared too much for me, and as I waited for her arrival at the graveyard, it became clear she was never going to come. She had trapped herself in hell to save my life. I disappeared after that, but I never stopped caring about Julia. I should never have come back to get her because when I finally found her again, she died. Everything dies when I'm around. Did I mention that before?  
  
Well, it's true. So many souls have departed from this world because of me. I can't help but feel guilty. I feel I've made peace with Vicious and Julia because they had known me better than anyone. The best I can do is carry the weight, and hope nothing comes back to bite me in the ass.  
  
_To Be Continued…_


	5. In the Beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spike's childhood.

_[Written on March 17 th of 2001]_

_[Last edited 8/18/15]_

_\------------------------------------_

**_"Return to Life_**  "  
Chapter Five: In The Beginning  
  
  
        
I sit up, eyes burning with exhaustion even though I have been asleep for the past two hours. Dreams are a bitch. Especially when you're reliving moments in your life you wish you could forget. My stomach growls loudly, interrupting the silence around me.  
     

 "I hear ya, I hear ya," I mutter heading towards the kitchen to see what Jet's cooked up. Jet is taking the food off the grill, and starts serving it up. I grin widely, enjoying the aroma of good food in the air. "Don't just stand there drooling! Help!" Jet commands strictly, an amused undertone beneath that rough voice.  
  
       
 Julia, why can't I get that name out of my head? I reply the same memories again and again, that sad smile, her delicious laughter. I can remember waking up in the middle of the night, her warm body pressed against mine, breathing so slow and steady that I couldn't tell where her heart beat began and mine ended. I lay there for hours, just listening, relishing in the perfection of it all. It was only when the dawn light peeked through the curtains that the spell shattered. I smile sadly, feeling the affliction once again, the reflection of her final moments...  
       
 "Spike, are you even listening to me?" The reverie I have fallen into shatters, and I look over at the provoking Faye wondering what she wants now. "Jeez, that's just like you. Laying there daydreaming when I need your help! You know what? Just forget-"  
        
I grab her forearm, causing the words to die on her lips. Her face flushes, and she twists away from me roughly. I sigh, putting up a hand that silences her. "Before you even start bitching, what did you need my help on?" She smiles wickedly, eyes full of possibilities. I can't even begin to guess.  
  
       
 I sit at the bar, clutching a drink I haven't taken a sip from in an hour. Loosening the noose around my neck, I pull the tie off and shove it in my pocket. The bartender's eyes follow the movement, and he smiles chuckling out loud. "I take it the young woman you came with isn't your date?"  
       
 I cast a glance at Faye, who is chatting with a group of people casually as if they were friends she knew all her life. She is dressed in a black spaghetti strap dress, dark hair hanging loose to her shoulders, powered face nearly glowing in the chandelier light. Her eyes are like two alien orbs, full of secrets I will never know. She catches my eyes, and blows a kiss playfully. I feel as though a stake has been shoved in my heart. The loss of Julia is still too near. I turn away, meeting the bartender's questioning gaze. "No, not at all. If I were going to bring a date, I wouldn't bring one that...flamboyant."  
        
He laughs, setting aside the glass he was polishing and leans over the counter. "I like you. I'm James Wate." I smile, shaking his hand briefly. "I’m-“ I freeze, the name dying on my lips. What the hell? I haven't thought of it in ten years. I struggle to recover, mind still shell-shocked. "Spike Spiegel. Nice to meet you."  
        
James stares at me, eyebrow rising in curiosity. "You remind of someone I met years ago. Except he was much younger, and he didn't have two different colored eyes. Strange," he comments sitting down across from me. Now I am the one fascinated. "This person...," I say, words coming out laced with urgency. "Did you meet him on Mars?"  
        
He pauses, taking a moment to think. "Actually, I believe it was on Mars. How the hell do you know that?" Taking a sip of my drink, my smile turns arcane. "Let me tell you a story. One that I believed lost until this moment."  
        
I lean back, eyes closed in remembrance and sigh. "I was born on June 26, 2044..."  
  
       
_It is not often I tell my life story to strangers but then this man is no stranger to me. Now that I recall his face, his eyes, and his voice. He is my uncle, one I have shunned since joining the Red Dragon Syndicate. He does not remember me. I do not expect him to. After all it has been nearly 20 years. Contrary to popular opinion, I once had a family of my own. Parents, relatives, the works. Only my life wasn't perfect. If anything, it was a fate worse than death._  
  
 _My father was a kind man when he had not drowned himself in alcohol. I cannot remember his job but he made enough to support my mother and me. Perhaps he was a bounty hunter as well? My father, Arthur, did not respect the sanctity of marriage and often beat my mother to the point where I sometimes wondered if she would survive at all._  
  
 _My mother, Bethany, was the opposite of my father. She had a good heart, one my father would never come to know. Booze and money were his lovers, and he cared little about other things. My mother offered no resistance to his frequent beatings, only accepted it with a grimace. Some may call her a fool, but she was smart in ways my father would never be. If she did strike back, she would not be able to protect me from father's rage._  
  
 _He never did come to understand me as I did him. I saw him only as a fool, one who did not quite understand love and how to administer it. I learned the ways of the world from my mother, and I still hold her close in my heart to this day. The basic principals upon which my life is build, all hers. Kill or be killed, accept life for what it is and not what it could be..._  
  
 _Then one night, my world shattered into a million pieces. My father was beating mother again though with more anger than usual. I could never watch the scene, my father's hand covered in mother's blood, face enraged with hate and ignorance. I often wondered if they had ever been happy once. Mother cried out for me._  
  
 _The name is laced with pain from my past, and I have contempt for anyone who dare call me by it. I ran then, fast as my little legs could carry me. My mother laid in a large puddle of blood on the floor, my father stood over her, hand curled in a fist. She raised her head, bright brown eyes focused unsteadily on me. "Walk out that door and do not look back. Do not come back...ever."_  
  
 _I must have stood there for hours, wounded by her words, but most of all by the gun in her pale hand. She pointed it at me, blood-covered lips parting silently. "Go now!"_  
  
 _I was frozen to the floor, and could not move an inch. I can vaguely recall a sudden burst of pain in my shoulder that jerked me to the floor. I did not need any more instruction. I ran out the door but paused in the street, head turning back helplessly._  
  
 _Mother raised the gun to my father's head. The shot will ring forever in my eyes. Father fell, eyes wide in shock and disbelief, blood dripping down from the hole in his skull. My mother has finally defended herself. She smiled, laying back onto the floor and closed her eyes forever. Father fell dead, and I kept staring. When the ISSP came, I still stood there, barely aware of the noise around me. A man knelt in front of me, concern clear in his eyes. "Hey, kid, you do know you've been shot, right?" Finally, the spell broke and I fled, away from the empty bodies that had once been my parents._  
  
 _I came to be living in my aunt and uncle's house a week later. They were kind, and treated me as if I was their own son. I lived there for two years and found all was not well. My aunt, Vicki, was having an affair. She often used me as an excuse to get out of the house. I became familiar with her boyfriend, and he, Mao Yenrai, took an instant liking to me. It was not until my aunt became intimately involved in his affairs did I find out he was a member of the Red Dragon Syndicate. I was a boy of fourteen and had a natural curiosity for anything that was related to death, and the Syndicate was crawling was death._  
  
 _Whether it was a mistake on fate's part or my own innate inquisitiveness, I secretly followed Mao Yenrai and Vicki on an outing. Mao had teased me earlier saying they were celebrating a special occasion. Naturally, I wanted to find out what he meant. I hid underneath the pool table of the bar they had stopped at, huddling close enough to hear what they said yet far enough so they couldn't see me. Imagine my surprise when I found out Mao had been passed leadership of the Syndicate. Vicki was excited until the bullet stole her happiness along with her life. Two men dressed in suits approached the startled Mao Yenrai, and started talking about things I couldn't understand. All I knew was that Vicki was dead, and Mao was to follow if I didn't do something._

  
_That was when I spotted the gun on the corner of the pool table. The two men who had been playing had left it along with their pool sticks. I grabbed it before I knew what I was doing, and aimed blindly. All I remember is the two suited men collapsed and Mao grabbed me and ran. Apparently, they weren't alone. Evading them was easy, they were all bark and no bite. "You're a pretty good shot."_

  
_The Syndicate recruited me two months later. I did not go back to my uncle even though he expressed the interest to do so. I was his only family, but I had a new family now. Mao took me under his wing, teaching me everything he knew. Four years passed by in a blur. I became a full member of the Syndicate, and eventually adopted a new name: Spike. It was then I met my partner Vicious. He was unlike anyone I had ever met before, and we instantly hit it off. He was not only my partner but also my best friend. The first one I'd ever had. I was conten, for once._

  
_Time no longer had any meaning, years passed, and I suddenly began to tire of it all. With age comes wisdom, and mine was particularly heavy. I grew sick of the politics, the killing, and the destruction. It was then Mao Yenrai announced I was next in line for leadership of the Syndicate. I didn't express my desire to Mao but he began to sense it in my work. It wasn't as clean and cut as it could be._

_An assignment went array one night, and I stumbled away from the wreck not sure if life or death would claim me. Life did in the form of a mysterious woman named Julia. I'd never met anyone like her. She was gentle and strong at the same time. I decided I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her, but fate...disagreed. Vicious, my former partner betrayed me, trapping Julia into a win or lose situation. Kill me or he'd kill us both. She chose none of the above._

  
_I faked my own death, and escaped the Syndicate. I wandered around for a year, staying a few months in a place then moving on before I became too attached. It was a simple way to live. Eventually, I met a man named Jet. Jet Black. A former ISSP detective who'd grown sick of the force and retired. A kindred spirit. He introduced me to the ways of bounty hunting, and we became partners. We made a pretty good team, Jet and I._

  
_Three years, we lived from bounty to bounty before running into a woman. Faye Valentine, a strange woman who only saw dollar signs everywhere. But there was a good reason, she was in debt. She'd been in an accident in the past and was cryogenically frozen. Now, she had a huge sum to pay off. She joined the Bebop crew whether we liked it or not. The next addition was Ed, a crazy hacker from Earth who was looking for a good time and boy, did she hit the pick the right place._

  
_My vision of reality had faded away, it was only stories I read, these things didn't happen in real life. Least of all my life. No one understood this until Mao Yenrai was killed...by Vicious. I met up with Vicious once again, vengeance my sole reason. He had changed drastically. Cruel he was now, with hatred burning deep within those dark eyes. We fought, and both of us were worse for the wear. Vicious got a grenade in the face, and I got thrown out of a window and fell thirty feet. You decide which is worse._

  
_I quickly realized that my past was going to catch up with me. Vicious, most of all. He wouldn't rest until he killed me. I met up with him once more though he was playing a cruel game, shooting with tranquilizer darts instead of bullets. The dream continued, and more adventures played out before ending at an abrupt halt. Julia was killed in front of my own eyes. It pained me-hell, it still does- and I got sick of reality too fast._  
  
      "I faced my past, and lived to tell about it. I returned to the Bebop in time, made amends and here I am today..." I look up for the first time since starting my tale. My uncle's jaw has about nearly fallen off. His wide brown eyes stare at me and slowly he laughs. The ballroom goes silent, and James laughs for what seems like forever. I smile widely, enjoying the sudden tension in the room. His laughter fades, and the room becomes noisy within a moment's time.

  
      James leans forwards, clasping a hand on my shoulder. “Spike, I must say you certainly know how to catch a man off-guard." He chuckles lightly then his face turns sullen and he points to Faye. "Does she know this? Do any of them know this?"  
      

 I look down at my empty shot glass, and shake my head. "No. I've never told anyone before but I felt you needed to know. After all, I never explained why I refused to come live with you.” He squeezes my shoulder briefly before sitting up from his chair. “Spike, you were a teenager. You were old enough to make your own decisions, and I can see you paid the price. The boy I know didn't have two different colored eyes.”  
    

  I stare at him. “Indeed. He's changed quite a bit. It's good to see you, Uncle. Keep in touch, all right?” I stand up, grabbing my jacket from the nearby seat. James calls out for me, and I turn raising an eyebrow. “Yes?”  
      

He gazes at me for a moment before shaking his head. “Never mind. Take care of yourself, Spike.” I nod, and go to collect Faye. All this storytelling has made me tired.  
  
_To Be Concluded…_


	6. Future

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The concluding chapter.

[Written on July 14th of 2001]

[Last edited 8/8/15]

\-------------------------------------

**_“Return to Life”_**  
Chapter 6: Future  
  
      The night stars glitter above, and I can't help but gaze into the vastness of it. I'd never noticed how beautiful the sky really was. I'd always been the run before, jumping from bounty to bounty, always straying and never lingering in one place too long. Until now. The Bebop is my home. No matter how many times I try to leave, I always return.  
  
      "You've been lying out here for over an hour. Lazy ass," Faye comments sitting beside me, and hugging her knees to her chest.  
  
      "We have enough money for the time being," I answer, casting a glance over at her. "Why not take a breather and enjoy life?"  
  
      "I love you." I hear my heart skip a beat. Did I just hear what I thought I did? "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to just blurt it out like that. Talk about sudden."  
  
      I can't speak. I can only sit up and stare at the woman next to me. Memories replay in my mind. As I'm leaving to confront my past, Faye aims her gun at me then fires above instead. As I slip back into the present, I realize Faye is still talking. "I can understand if you don't feel the same. I should leave, shouldn't I?"  
  
      "Faye..." Her mouth stops moving and she turns to look at me. "I appreciate your honesty but I don't feel the same. There's only been one woman for me in this world and she's already passed on into the next. Until I'm able to stay my final goodbye, I can't look at you or any other woman that way. Do you understand?"  
  
      Tears glitter in her eyes. As they run down her face, she nods shakily. "I do actually. It doesn't make the pain any less though. W-When will you be able to say good-bye to Julia?"  
  
      I lay back down on the grass below us. The beauty of those stars strikes me again and I think. "I'm not sure. I'm not certain whether I'll ever be able to..." Faye lingers in my presence for a few moments before fleeing. Who knew that woman had fallen in love with me? Life's full of surprises.  
  
      I should have expected it. There had been so many signs. I'd ignored them all, instead concentrating on my own troubles.  
  
      "Spike-Spike!" What did that little imp want now? If it were important, Ed would be dancing around me with the computer balanced perfectly on top of her head.  
  
      I take my time walking back to the Bebop. I had all the time in the world now. That's one good thing about burying your past. You only had to look forward to your future.  
  
      As I enter the living room, Ed is crab walking towards the couch. Jet and Faye were nowhere to be found. I look around, curious as to where my comrades had disappeared. I near Jet's bedroom and pause in my footsteps. Where was that laughter coming from?  
  
      "Thanks for comforting me, Jet. Spike can be so-"  
        
      "Hey! What the hell do you think you're-"  
  
      Chuckle.  
  
      "I told you I'm ticklish there! No-"  
  
      Giggle.  
  
      "Stop, please!"  
        
      More giggles.  
  
      "I can't breathe, Jet!"  
  
      I smirk walking back towards the living room. Well, well, it seems as if two certain people had gotten close during my absence. My smirk disappears and I turn sullen. The supposed death of a friend can make such miracles happen.  
  
      "Did you have something for me, Ed?"  
  
      She grins widely and starts typing with her toes. After a minute or less, Ed turns the computer my way. On the screen is a message from the ISSP. They'd found my ship. The Swordfish II.  
  
  
  
      The next morning, I land at the local ISSP station. After inquiring about my ship, I am directed to a warehouse a few blocks away. As I enter, I see a long line of spaceships, each unique in shape and size. I stop in front of a familiar shape and stare. It couldn't be, could it? My ship, Swordfish II was here, and painted...pink. Hot pink. My eyebrow twitches. I'm just about to lose it. I don't find this amusing in the least. Whoever did this...is going to die.  
  
      Someone taps me on the shoulder, and I turn around slowly, eyes narrowed in annoyance. I'm startled to find a young ISSP officer smiling at me. Long lashes blink, revealing deep blue eyes on a long face. She reminds me of Julia. Of course, Julia didn't have short green hair though. "Are you here to pick up something, cowboy?"  
  
      I nod, wondering how long she's been on the force. "Yeah. I'm Spike Spiegel, and I'm here to pick up my star ship." She smiles, patting the nose of the Swordfish II lightly.  
  
      "I take it this is yours?"  
  
      "Yeah. You need proof of ownership or can I just fly it out of here?"  
  
      She chuckles. "Follow me to my desk and you just have to sign a few forms." I comply, and two hours later, I am flying through the atmosphere in my own ship. I have ditched the rental leaving it to whoever spotted it first.  
  
      Now I was set. I had my Swordfish II, repainted its original color of course, my friends, and the Bebop. Life was good. Well, as good as it could get.  
  
  
  
      Is this the end? Never. Just because I've survived my past and my return back to life doesn't mean everything's over. Jet and Faye's relationship continues developing though both of them deny that such a thing exists. It's rather amusing to see them play hide and seek.  
  
      Ed has started taking an interest in something else besides hacking. I can only speculate that because she's mastered hacking, she's started getting bored. Now she wants to become a bounty hunter. A cowgirl. After putting me through many weeks of torment and torture, I've promised to show her the basics. Who knows? She might just show a talent for bounty-hunting someday.  
  
      As for me, I'm content. I still think of Julia and Vicious from time to time as well as Mao, my mentor. I have managed to let the past go. It’s most definitely one of the hardest things I have ever done. No bounty or near-death experience measures up to the trials I had to go through. Time has begun slipping past me as it has done before. It no longer matters where I go or what I do. I am happy at last. I've found my peace and hopefully I can keep this small family together. On the Bebop.  
  
      I'm no psychic. I've no idea what the coming days will be like. I suppose I will have to wait and see. One never knows what the future will bring.  
  
THE END  



End file.
